Richard’s Neighborhood

What one film do you think everyone should see?
Sponsored by The Official AVATAR Community on TypePad. See AVATAR in theaters December 18, 2009.

Fight Club.

What's the worst book you've ever read?

Wicked by Gregory Maguire.

Emphasis on the short. My new goal for TWG is to write a short story every week (okay, or almost every week) that paints a vivid picture while limiting myself to 200 words.

This week's words are: church, phantom, transvestite.

Phantom 

“God, come again to me! Don’t leave me here abandoned!” wailed the old man. The nurse gingerly applied a cool cloth to his forehead and quickly shrank back. But she need not have feared – the man was too far gone, mentally and physically, to lash out at her again for her aid.

She watched him with a dark eye, at once compassionate and cruel. She had watched death’s slow approach too many times to be affected by his suffering. And yet, his words stung her and she pictured all the souls she’d eased on. Her souls. Her phantoms.

Gasping raggedly, the man seized his breath from the stale air of the small room to shriek out again, “Gone! Abandoned!” The transvestite walking the street below looked up sharply at this death rattle and then continued about her insalubrious business.

And as the church bells chimed the hour, the nurse quietly gathered her purse and shawl and carried another phantom home. 

I hated this song the first time I heard it. And I haven’t much liked it any subsequent time it’s come on the radio. There’s just something about the sound that bothers me: the lispy vocal, dissonant chords, whatever. 4 out of the past 5 times I’ve gotten in my car, it’s been on the radio. I know it’s getting lots of airtime because it’s new and popular, but could it be just a coincidence? Or am I supposed to be hearing this song right now?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RNFChMV-z4

The holidays are in full effect, so tell us: What's your favorite holiday song? Bonus points if you share it with us!

My favorite Christmas song still hasn't changed from last year (good job Vox on recycling QotDs). I just love this Reliant K song. I know, I know. At first it just sounds like a rock version of a classic... it's a good song, but it gets really good right around the 5th day...

12 Days of Christmas

She gave me one last look with that long, piercing, green-eyed stare before she laid her head down and went to sleep. I'll never forget that look. It was so familiar. I've seen it time and again for years. It was a look of endless patience when I was a complete fool...a look that said "you can do better than that" in the kindest possible way...a look of undying love despite my idiosyncracies.

She had a beautiful, trusting face just like her nature. We used to stay up late watching movies and eating junk food. We snuggled on the couch and were content to simply be together. I told her my deepest, darkest secrets. And she was there for many of the big events my life - the move from Germany and the transition to 'civilians' as we exited the Army lifestyle. Oh, how we traveled! She saw me through the subsequent troubles of relationships that had to come to an end. As that door closed, so an even wider and brighter door opened as we arrived home as "Austinites". We've never been happier.

The memory of those last few moments with her are forever imprinted on my soul. That one last look before her eyes glazed over, pain receding, as she laid to rest forever, told me "Thank you for not letting the pain completely consume me. Thank you for giving me a home for 15 years. Thank you for loving me." No, THANK YOU, Sox.

good news:
I am engaged with Patrick! I was so happy. Actually happier than I expected. I could finally tell my mom about how wonderful Patrick is. Mom is in FL still staying at my oldest sister, Y who just gave birth to her first child, Evan - for 2 1/2 weeks(Aug-Sept) I helped her and mom who is visiting FL in order to help her as well. I held my dear nephew, Evan first right after C section. We can visit them and introduce Patrick.

bad news:
My sisters all knew about my relationship with Patrick and they have been ok with it. They had concerns about if he is the one or if I was trying to see the rosy side of it and I understand them knowing they mean well to me. When I told my mom the other day about our engagement and told her about our desire to visit my sister and her over video skyping, she was listening to what I said, showed not too much of surprise/shock and then she said "now you have to swear by god and me that you are going to explore your religion, catholic more deeply. " She basically wanted to cut some kind of trade in deal between my marriage and my religion. When I said no, she got upset how I am not willing to listen to her own mother and brought all the things she didn't like about me from the past and talked about other things that barely has anything to do with our situation right now. She said she hated me, didn't want to see me therefore she didn't need to see Patrick. I told her I would like to see Evan before they leave for Korea next Sunday. She said I had seen him enough and I didn't need to.

I wasn't surprised by the unnecessary subjects she rambled because that's how she has yelled at us for decades and pack them in one bundle and tag people as useless and stupid. Sometimes she add one more thing from her religion and judge people quickly without any hint of empathy or considering as conscienceless jerks/egos/etc.

If she challenged and blamed me about not telling her for so long, I wanted to apologize for isolating her and was willing to explain and apologize over and over. If she was not happy about Patrick due to not knowing him who she can't communicate well, I was willing to explain about him and our relationship over and over.

But when she plays religion card, I can't really do much about it. I am agnostic because I can't prove there's god or not. But, I am def against big organized religions that tell people what to believe or not, how to judge other people based on their dogma and influence the whole society systematically. I was very religious between 11 and 27 years old, but I realized religion actually made me feel guilty about who I am and being true to myself doesn't really matter. I seemed to go to hell based on my decisions. I got confused with between following my heart and being selfish. I am far from being perfect. I want to be a better person by actually observing, listening and sensing other people's life with my own true heart. 

Since my mom dominates my family and she expresses her emotion in extreme ways, my sisters get hurt by her and that caused pain to everybody. I always felt so horrible to my sisters. They didn't decided to judge me. Now mom's anger and resentment on me spreads dark clouds over my sisters. Y tried hard to convince me to try catholic "truly" even if it's not a hard core way. I feel so sorry for her because she watches Evan, has to respond to mom's anger and has to come up with some idea to be a peace maker between mom and me. I had a talk with my other two sisters and told them I don't know if I can do what mom wants me to do. When Y got that message, she was angry that I was not responding to her effort. That I am not giving up on my thoughts. That I am not taking their suggestions. She suspects my decision about Patrick. She told me not to call her. She wouldn't come to my wedding. She told me to do "whatever". 

I guess it's maybe Korean culture or it's just our family, but if you don't do things they tell you to do with well meaning, that means you ignore them. That means you think you are superior than they are. It doesn't matter that you still understand where they come from. The outcome and result is almost everything.

For me, that's the saddest part. I didn't express enough about my respect to them, my horrible feelings about hurting  them, my concerns about them, etc because it would inflame their anger even more.

I didn't feel that hurt, but rather astonished by mom's absurd forcing UNTIL my sister almost disowned me.
I still truly appreciate their concerns and respect their well meant opinion. I don't think their opinion is stupid, dumb or pointless at all. They have their point, but when they force me something fundamentally conflicting with who I am I just can't accept it to myself.
 
I feel so sorry for Patrick. He is sad about the situation, but he doesn't take it personally which I am very thankful. He still has open arms thinking that we are just being human. I feel sorry that my family members can't enjoy Patrick's personality. I feel so sorry for Patrick's family who love me, but they don't take it personally.

Life never goes as I plan, but that's why it's called life. 

You reread an old birthday card from a friend and realize it was one of the most sincere ones the friend put some meaningful time and thought into in the last 10 years.
I never realized that until now.

I should say thank you for that.

with a lot of pain?...